New blog site...

We have recently upgraded and redesigned our blog. You can access the new blog at
http://blog.endbullyingtoday.com

The blog will be focused on strategies and techniques to bring diverse people, cultures, races, traditions, choices and abilities into your everyday lives. We know that if we expose our children to a wide variety of experiences etc. they are much less likely to biases and stereotypes that are often a precursor to bullying-and worse.

So check it out...and take a look at our new (still building)site www.globalbirthdayparty.com

With respect,
Deb

Why is that auction "Chinese?"

That was the first question my daughter asked yesterday as we were wound our way through our church's "Chinese" auction.

"Do they auction Chinese people or Chinese things?" she asked.

The origins of the "Chinese auction" aren't clear, but I am willing to bet the rent that the origins aren't in China. Conventional wisdom cites a a wealthy American socialite from the early 1900's believed to reside in NY as the creator. According to legend, she was looking for a new and unique idea for charity fundraisers. After struggling to find a new concept she hit on a "Chinese auction". What is the Chinese part you might ask? Well, apparently this wealthy woman believed that making the auction "Chinese" added intrigue, mysticism and mystery to an ordinary event-reflecting the way that many Americans viewed Chinese people at the time.

Fast-forward 100+ years.

Do we still need to put the word "Chinese" in a description? Isn't defining a person or event with this label reinforcing the stereotype of anything Chinese being a little bit odd or off kilter? What is the first thing you think of when you hear the term "Chinese" auction-confusion and chaos or a unique fund-raising event?

This type of racism is not limited to Chinese-consider the "Mexican" standoff-a gunfight where no shots were fired - a Mexican standoff - was inferior and thereby "Mexican." Morris Dictionary of Word and Phrase Origins" by William and Mary Morris (HarperCollins), New York, 1977.

What about "Dutch treat?" Isn't this a stab at the stereotype that the Dutch are cheap-and would make you spring for your own meal rather than pay for your dinner?

Don't these kinds of phrases-no matter who they are directed at-put the speaker 'above' others making the others inherently inferior?

Some argue that if we have to look up the origins of these kinds of racist terms, then the racism is gone. Do you believe that?

I sure don't and neither did my seven-year old-who likened the Chinese 'auction' to the enslavement of African-Americans in the 19th century.

We often scratch our heads about what we can do about racism. Well, here's something you can do right now-rename your 'Chinese' auction-or don't patronize one that won't change the name. Don't tell your kids that you are 'going Dutch'. Don't use any of the 'common' ethnic phrases-ever.

Take action-you're kids will see that you mean business and it will make a difference.

With Respect,
Deb

Help kids in San Diego

Please donate on pair of new pajamas to the kids in the San Diego area who have lost so much.

Send on pair of NEW pjs to:

SCRIPPS Hospital
Attn: Pajama Drive
9888 Genesee Ave
Mailstop LJ36
La Jolla, CA 92037

Please include a short note and a picture of your child.

Please do it today!

With Respect
Deb

Money, Money, Money-its a rich man's world!

I was watching Larry King interview Suzy Orman. They covered a wide range of topics from the mortgage meltdown, to consumer credit card debt and how to accumulate wealth. Larry King asked Suzy how much money did one have to have to be truly wealthy-able to live their lifestyle without touching the money.

Her answer-$100 million dollars. Yes, that is right. $100 million.

I remember talking with my friend Bob Grossman in the 80's about his plan to accumulate $1 million and live off of the $80k in interest. Bob did accumulate his million-but doesn't feel that 80k is enough to meet his needs.

So, where does this leave those of us who haven't accumulated 1 million let alone $100 million. We used to be called the 'middle class'-the people squeezed in between the rich and the poor. We used to represent the bulk of the US population. Yet we are an endangered species. In fact, the Wall Street Journal reported that the next generation of Americans will be the first generation that can't expect to live better than their parents!

As the middle class is declining in the United States, we are seeing the creation of yet another divide between people. And we can see the consequences of this schism in other countries right now. And it ain't pretty.

We live in a non-middle class area. For me, I could care less. But my daughter has been asking me lately if we are rich? I say, of course, we have are rich in love and laughter and family-we have food, are healthy and have a roof over our heads. What she really wants to know where we stack up in the wealth area compared to her friends-they kids are talking about money and the lack thereof in the third grade. Her friends have moms that don't work, that take vacations to Florida at the drop of a hat. Her friends take tennis lesson, horseback riding lessons, piano, violin, and what ever other lessons their parents believe will make them 'better people. To my daughter these kids have everything.

But, when her friends do come here they have fun and alway wish that their parents spent time with them doing things-raking and jumping in leaves, catching butterflys, baking and other 'middle class' activities. Apple picking in the fall, picking berries in the summer, planting a garden, walking our own dogs, shoveling our own walks, putting money in the piggy bank, donating to local charities and helping wherever and how ever we can. We are just like millions of people all over the country. But, if Suzy Orman and the Wall Street Journal are to be believed, then we are an endangered species-our kids will either be rich or poor.

Given those dire predictions,how do we instill the values that made our country great in our children-a respect for money, the value of earning a dollar, saving vs. spending, and respect for people who don't have as much money as they might.

Money hasn't always been considered an "ism" like racism, sexism ageism etc, but we are getting to the point where we are going to have to face the reality that our kids are going to have another 'ism' to deal with.

Like all other 'isms' the time to start helping your kids understand that money-having some or having none doesn't define the value a person can bring to their lives is right now.

With Respect
Deb

CBS Radio Does It Again!

From bad to worse!

Some people just don't get it-or are so interested in making money that they don't care if they profit by abusing others.



CBS joins the rarefied crowd of those that 'don't get it'. As difficult as it is to believe, they replaced the controversial Don Imus with an even more (is it even possible) controversial racist, sexist and ethnocentric 'shock jock'.

Yep! They did it again when they announced that Craig Carton who's history includes, Operation Rat a Rat/La Cucha Gotcha-a 'game' to turn in undocumented immigrants, 'outing' politicians THOUGHT to be gay and mocking Asians by mimicking accents and traditions.

To be fair, Carton wasn't always a jerk. He has done sports formatted programs across the country and has successfully increased ratings in many of the markets he broadcast in. And like Imus, he has generously supported children's charities. CBS is pairing him with ex-football player Boomer Esiason-who one can only hope will be the voice of reason.

CBS must think that-despite the Imus flap that there is a market for sexist, racist and other offensive programming. It is up to us to convince them that we don't agree. This is the time to step up to the plate and vote with your pocketbook. Don't listen to Carton's show, don't support the advertisers that support the show. Make your feelings about this type of programming known in the only way that CBS will respond to. We need to hit them in the pocketbook.

If you are serious about raising great kids, the example you set by fighting bias, racism etc will be the best thing that you do. They will know that you don't just talk about changing things-you do something. That is more powerful than anything else you can do.

With respect
Deb

Diversity is FUN!

Many of us roll our eyes and sign when we hear the word 'diversity'. We may question whether or not we can individually make a difference, or we may be sick and tired of folks making diversity a political correctness issue.

But sometimes things just click and there are ways to introduce your kids (girls in this case, I suppose)to different cultures in a way that is FUN and giving at the same time.

Take a look at www.karito.com and their line of multi-cultural dolls. They are great! First of all the dolls are authentically beautiful-not a stereotype in sight. Secondly, the dolls each have a modern and hip story which kids will be able to relate to. Most importantly, once the dolls are registered online, kids can learn more about the different cultures that the dolls represent AND your child can vote on the charitable projects in each region that the Karito is involved in. You and your children will learn more about social responsibilty, world culture and charitable giving....all while playing with great toys!

This is a great example of ways to integrate diversity-racial, cultural, geograhical-into our kids everyday lives. It is through experiences like this-whether through books, music, games or toys that our children will really get the message that different is just different, not better or worse.

Many parents will spend a fortune on American Girl dolls-which are a great view into American culture. Are you one of the ones that see the value of adding a multi-cultural dimension to your kids experience.

If you do, we get one step closer to the level playing field that will help our children be safer and more successful.

Go for it....

With Respect,
Deb

Five words you don't want to hear: "you just missed Brad Pitt"

We just missed Brad Pitt and one of his sons when we were in New York City. I am sure Brad and I would have hit it off beautifully becaues Angelina Jolie Angelina and I have a lot in common.



Ok, so she is a young, beautiful and a talented actress and I am a 40 something, slightly overweight, harried mom who and can't act her way out of a paper bag-but really here is what we share:

1. growing our families through adoption

2. trans-racial families

3. working moms

4. a deep committment to make the world a better place



Angelina and Brad have the eyes of the world press on them all the time. I have a seven year old velcroed to me most of the time-but I have you. And there are kids that need your help (and you don't even have to adopt them!).



Child abuse-running the gamet from bullying to death-is a huge issue right here in the good ole US of A and there are MILLIONS of children that need to be protected right now. On behalf of these children I have set up a fund-raising program thru Firstgiving-a safe and well respected online fundraising operation-to raise money for Love Our Children, USA (http://www.loveourchildrenusa.org/)- a nearly decade old non-profit dedicated to ending all forms of child abuse. And knowing the executive director, Ross Ellis as I do, they will succeed.



Here is the link to the site:http://www.firstgiving.com/bullyeraser



Any little bit helps-and no contribution is too small. Someone very wise told me once "it takes a lot of raindrops to fill the ocean".



So let's let some raindrops fall into our ocean-starting right now.



Now let me get back to Jolie-Pitt watching-maybe next time, I will get to have that little chat with Brad. And I hear that he really IS that handsome.



Cheers,

Deb