Friday Fun!

If you NOT convinced that how we say and do things-even unwittingly-are picked up by our kids, read these REAL stories below...

A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine....' His mother heard what he was saying and gasped,'What are you doing?' The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mom.' 'And is this how your teacher taught you to do it?' the mother asked. 'Yes,' he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in math?' The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.' The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?' After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, 'That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?' The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, 'Yes, and my Mom says it's a b-tch to iron.'


Have a great weekend.
With Respect,
Deb

San Diego, anyone?

I promised my daughter I would take her to Sea World in San Diego, CA for Thanksgiving-who wouldn't want to share this festive day with Shamu?!

It has been many years since I have travelled to San Diego, so I was a bit flummoxed about how to begin to search for places to stay that were child-friendly and near the attractions we would want to visit-the beach, the Zoo, Sea World etc. I also wanted to be able to take cabs and walk places to eliminate renting a car (for some reason this has always been my least favorite part of traveling).

Looking online for accommodations and flights proved to be challenging-first the amount of information is enormous and there was no ability to compare and contrast, so the back button on my browser was working overtime.

Fortunately, I found Hotel Reservations. The site is very straightforward and has all the bells and whistles that a traveler might need-but they don't get in the way of the information. It took me some time to get used to the way the information was presented-there is a lot of information in a little bit of space, but once that happened, I was good to go.

I started with hotels and was pleased to see that there were LOTS of choices-bed and breakfast, luxury, budget and everything in between and the prices were competitive-if not better than other sites. There was extensive information on each property-including distances to the places we want to see- which allowed me to further hone in on the area that was best for us. The best feature I found was the ability to compare the finalists and pick a winner-one that I don't think I would have found on my own.

The search for flights was a not as successful, probably because we will be traveling at Thanksgiving. While the flights were limited, they were extremely economical and I liked the ability to view the results by price, total duration and total flight time-when traveling with a seven year old, travel time becomes quite important.

The vacation packages were also quite good. The ability to identify attractions we wanted to be near, took some of the guesswork out of the mix-and eliminated the need to make numerous phone calls to figure out if I would spend the week in the car or not.

Since we are also looking at a trip to China in the not-to-distant future, I also peeked at the hotel and flights for that journey. I have been shopping that trip for quite a while and was pleased to find out that the prices and choices were plentiful, varied and well-priced.

After some searching-I sure got the travel bug. Thankfully, travel is one great way to expose kids to other cultures, traditions and people, so I can feel good about giving my daughter great experiences that I can also enjoy-without breaking the bank.

Check em out and maybe we will see you in San Diego!

With Respect,
Deb

Thursday is book day!

I confess, I love to read with my daughter before she goes to sleep. We do it every night (whether she wants to or not!).

Some of our favorite books are from The Magic Treehouse series by Mary Pope Osborne. We love traveling with Jack and Annie as the explore everything from the first Olympic Games to meals with lions and buffalo. We can almost hear the wind whooshing through the tree-house as they leave on their adventure and breathe a sign of relief when they arrive safely back in Pennsylvania.

These books are great for beginning readers and to read together. They allow the reader to experience history, nature, and other real life adventures through the eyes of contemporary kids. The juxtaposition of contemporary characters against historical events has been a great way to engage children and then even expand the conversation into a wonderful 'teachable moment'.

The series also help children experience other cultures and traditions. For example in Hour of the Olympics, Jack and Annie are surprised to learn that girls can't attend or participate in the Olympics. The inevitable "why" that kids will ask is an opportunity to talk about womens role in history and contemporary society-and to reinforce that boys and girls can do anything they set their minds to.

So, enjoy these books and let me know what interesting questions or observations that your kids come up with.

With Respect,
Deb

The dance of life: one step forward and two steps back!

Just when we were all excited about the way Binky Barnes's family expansion was handled on PBS, another video surfaces on YouTube. You don't even what to see what was behind door number two.

Someone thought it was funny to present adoption from China as a shopping trip-pick the one you want, wrap her up and bring her home. The video came complete with images of girls from China in plastic shopping bags. Not only was the video in horrendously bad taste, it was just plain stupid.

Of course, those in the adoption community were shocked and dismayed at the portrayal of adoption, but the damage goes far deeper than families formed by adoption.

While Binky Barnes was likely watched by many people, the video on YouTube had the opportunity to travel worldwide. It is likely that many more people were able to see the YouTube video than watched the Arthur episode.

In 30 seconds-or even from the opening shot, the YouTube video did more damage to adoption than we have seen in a long time. It is frustrating, of course, that just as we think we are making progress, something devastating happens that makes us shake our collective heads in bewilderment. Some people will give up, thinking that they can't do anything about it. Others will become militant and angry, determined to have the world see their 'correct' point of view. Still others, will hunker down, regroup and continue to raise awarness and consciouness that bias-and clearly the YouTube video was biased-is just not acceptable in the 21st Century.

While the target of this YouTube video was adoption and adoption from China in particular, the next target could be ANY group, or anyone who is 'different'. The target of the next attack could be your family, your child, your community.

The 9/11 attacks were caused in part by bias against Americans-that is a very visible reminder of the consequences of bias.

It is our job to stop biases before they escalate-to bullying, to violence or worse.

What course of action will you take in your home today?

With Respect,
Deb

Hooray Binky Barnes!

Finally, families formed through adoption have something to cheer about in the media. For the first time in recent memory a media vehicle has hit on the facts and emotions about adoption on the nose!

Congratulations are in order to the team, lead by Executive Producer Pierre Valette, who created the Arthur episodes following Binky Barnes and his family as they expand their family with the adoption of a baby girl from China. This is one of the first shows featuring adoption that wasn't demeaning or pandering. In fact, reviews indicate just the opposite-the show was able to accurately portray some of the feelings that a waiting sibling might have when facing the addition of a new family member. Binky Barnes's emotions run the gamete from excitement to dismay-and fear of getting the dreaded inoculations needed to travel to China to meet his sister.

This episode-and its sequel go a long way in normalizing adoption bringing it out of the shadows and exposing children and their parents to family formation in the real world. Attention is even paid to proper adoption language (probably for the first time in TV history). This show is a far cry from other adoption-related shows including the infamous Who's Your Daddy which served only to infuriate families all over the country and exploit the participants.

Thank you Pierre Valette, the entire team and the folks at PBS for making this happen. We just took a giant step in leveling the playing field for families formed by adoption.

With respect,
Deb

Bias bites back!

The other night my mother was related a story about a gal in her office who had recently found her dream house. The woman is black.

The woman told my mother that she and her family loved the house,but were concerned that

there were so many Mexicans

in the neigborhood. My mother was shocked that a black person could be biased. She thought bigotry and racism were the purvey of Caucasians.

Of course, we know intellectually that everyone, everywhere has biases, but sometimes it seems that it is only white people who are biased (nothing like a little supremacy complex). That is simply not true-we just don't hear about it or think about it.

There seems to be a racial hierarchy with whites a the top of the pyramid. Second in line seem to Asians (after all they are all bright and hard-working). Black and Hispanic people pull in behind Asians. Given the demographic coming attractions where white population decreases rapidly against the rise in non-white populations, this seems to be incredibly stupid.

My child is a child of color. Some people will actually say (or intimate) that 'at least she isn't black'. When I pick myself up off of the floor, I still have to bite my tongue, but what the heck is that all about?

If adults are surprised that all people are biased and if we are using a racial 'rating system' to determine one's status in society then you can be sure that kids are getting that message loud and clear.

So ask yourself if you have any hierarchical racial system that you are unconsciously transferring to your children. You might want to consider putting a stop to that. You aren't doing your kids any favors. Kids need to be cognizant that everyone deserves to be judged based on his or her strengths and weakness, not by any antiquated and biased points of view that seep out of the most well-meaning parents.

Unfortunately, racism, like poverty, violence and other societal ills truly cuts across all boundaries. It does seem sad that some of the things that we all share are so negative, while the positive things take a back seat. Today's challenge is to become aware of how we 'rate' people and start to look at how we can keep it to ourselves.

Like any issue, recognition that there is an issue is the first step!

With respect,
Deb

Fun on Friday-from Overheard at the Beach

But I Can Get by in English, As Long As They Speak Slowly

Canadian girl to Americans: Oh my god! You guys speak Canadian? We've been looking for other people who speak Canadian!

American guy: Yup, only Canadian. No American or English. Only Canadian.

Canadian girl: Awesome! Me, too!

--Punta Cana, Dominican Republic